What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize