why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize
