he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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