my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
