Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
and she was petting her beer can
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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