just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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