thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
