we have pet lesbian snakes
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Swine flu. Run for my life!
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
