Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
