if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
time to smoke my breakfast
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
