Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
