um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
