you're like a bully in the Christmas story
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
