Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
