He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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