At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
