Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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