Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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