After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
