i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize