I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
