When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
