Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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