she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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