Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
