um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
