How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
