ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
