you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
