Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
