how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize