Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
These tits shall not be calmed
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
