I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
