dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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