Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
What drink are we having for lunch?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
