I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
