Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
