There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize