Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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