come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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