Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
