It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
