Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
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