I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
so let's talk penis.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize