Fuck appropriateness.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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