when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
