OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
