We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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