He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I don't think brook has ever known best
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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