I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
