Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
