One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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