The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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