Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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