Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
