Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize