I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
