i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
