Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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