I need to stop coming to work sober
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
