the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
