he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
