my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I wish there were birth control emojis
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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