time to smoke my breakfast
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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