Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
