Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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