hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
