i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
i think i just lost a toe
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