people are starting to question the shark bite story
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
