This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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