Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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