it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
