3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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