remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
