dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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